I'll Give You Five Back If You Let Me Graze a Nip
Aug. 28th, 2008 | 02:00 am
posted by: ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/syndicated.gif)
overheardnyc
Aspiring rapper: Hey guys, 'sup? Would you care to help a struggling rapper by buying my CD for $20?
Guy: Uh... I don't really want your album for $20.
Aspiring rapper: Could you hug me for $10 then?
--Times Square
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Exactly How the Native Americans Felt
Aug. 28th, 2008 | 12:00 am
posted by: overheardnyc
Nine-year-old to friend: Yo, how many white people we got here?
Friend: One, two, too many.
--Fort Greene Park
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Aug. 28th, 2008 | 05:09 am
current disposition: 
nauseated
posted by: ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
souliesoul
All that remains are graphics files and layout information. And my Nano fic whose beta gave up part way through without telling me!
I'm still having a bit of a panic attack, but I hope that this will go a little way to alleviate it - at least I really, really want to go back to sleep, but I keep thinking about the morally wrong ships I used to support (L/D etc) and freaking out.
Probably, this is a lesson that you should not use the internet while stressed out and extremely drunk.
Great, now I'm nervous to go back to bed in case I get another panic attack.
(I think it was triggered by thinkng SCBA when I was thinking of SCUBA, which led to SCUSA or whatever it is, which triggered the panic. Fun.)
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Mild-Mannered Wednesday by Day. One-Liner by Night.
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 10:00 pm
posted by: overheardnyc
Chick on cell: Do you prefer the superhero theme to us in only aprons, holding penis cakes?
--Garden of Eden Supermarket, 107th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
White guy to white girl: Wait, you'd be proud to be supermanned by me?
--D Train
(at the superhero fashion exhibit, in front of Catwoman's display)
Man to little kid: Oh, and look! She has a whip. I wonder what that's for...
--Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: EK
Black guy on cell: Nigga, you can't be James Bond and Batman, you pick which one you are.
--Smith & 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ewan Walsh
Girl on cell: Am I gonna need to drug you, put you in a superhero costume, and snap photos?
--Halloween Adventure Store
Overheard by: McF
Batman to four-year-old who jumped out from behind a table: Evan, don't sneak up on me. Superheroes are wound very tight.
--Birthday party, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: PG
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Aug. 27th, 2008 | 07:42 pm
posted by: bethos
Hahahah.
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oh, hell.
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 07:08 pm
current disposition: 
sad
posted by: edhelur
You see, not only did Joe have to leave on Sunday (hence three days of feeling like utter shit), but I've been nauseated and sore for close to a week now (thus, mild shit for the last week). I just ate a sesame ball, and my stomach is disagreeing violently with my decision to do so. Fucking hell. I haven't actually vomited yet, but I definitely feel like it.
Also, the three people I've told about this nausea have told me I should buy and use a pregnancy test, but I don't really want to. In fact, I really don't want to. It's too scary. 1-2% of women who use an IUD (which I am) get pregnant over 10 years. Theoretically, that's 99.994% effectiveness over two months. I can't be that shit outta luck, can I?
I can almost ignore the nausea though, as long as I don't eat much, and especially not fatty foods. The worse part is Joe being gone. I don't quite know how or why I ended up loving this particular young man who happens to live some four thousand mile plus distance away, but I do. And he's gone. I won't see him properly, let alone hug or kiss him, until at least Christmas. I want to be squished against his body, and I want it so bad. I barely slept for Sunday or Monday nights, and I slept only half decently last night.
I need to stop dwelling on not having him, and anticipate having him 'soon'. Soon soon soon. Christmas isn't that far away. Not too long. Not too long.
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Wednesday One-Liners in Clear Heels
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 08:00 pm
posted by: overheardnyc
Woman on cell: I may or may not have just accidentally become a sex worker.
--40th & 9th
Overheard by: McFreaky
Attractive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a better body, I would be a prostitute.
--W 4th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: rpk
Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hooker, for god's sake.
--115th & Broadway
Overheard by: columbia undergrad
Five-year-old boy: Mom, what's a gigolo?
--6 Train
Overheard by: Justine
Woman yelling into a cell: For the love of god, I'm sleeping with men for crack. Do you really think that would mess with my list of priorities?
--2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: Wonders what the suggestion was
20-something woman on cell: Wait--am I in the sex industry?
--NJ Transit
Overheard by: Poogins
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This is awkward, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 07:44 pm
current disposition: 
disappointed
posted by: newredshoes
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On Vox: What? It's NOT a Tim Minchin post?
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 06:25 pm
posted by: melora98
This made me giggle with glee:
Tee hee!
Snagged from here.
Originally posted on slytherinlibrarian.vox.com
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America Runs on Wednesday One-Liners
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 06:00 pm
posted by: overheardnyc
Thug: I love you because when I'm with you I feel like I'm Barack Obama and you're Hillary Clinton.
--N Train
All-black-wearing chick with cigarette: Do you ever find yourself thinking really conservative thoughts by accident?
--Outside International Affairs Building, Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Subway crazy: Rip Torn for president! Denny McLain for Secretary of State!
--Uptown 6 Train
Girl with baby in her arms: You know, he taped an Obama poster on his door and I was like, "Oh no, you didn't put that up." 'cause he don't know nothing about politics. Hell, he a felon...he can't even vote.
--East Village Urban Outfitters
Five-year-old boy pointing at a sidewalk mural of Hillary and Obama: Mom, look, Hillary! (long pause) And some guy.
--106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kip
Grumpy old man: Things have been going downhill since the Wilson administration.
--70th & Columbus
Overheard by: Devoted Puppy
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 05:57 pm
posted by: fairestcat in ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif)
metafandom
- cofax7: Taking a page from james_nicoll's technique - Sociability is part of marketing in the fannish economy. Y/N? Discuss? Pros/Cons? -
- sherrold: why ask why? - Hey, why do we call that kind of story "genderswaps"? They aren't swapping gender -- they're swapping biological sex. -
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US, MA: Central MA Emergency Fund Opens 02 September 2008
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 06:36 pm
current disposition: 
good
hearing: Beatles - Love Me Do (Virgin Radio)
posted by: ftmichael in transnews
Greetings,
I am pleased to announce that the Central Massachusetts Transgender Emergency Fund will start receiving applications for assistance beginning September 2nd of 2008. The Transgender Emergency Fund is intended to assist Transgender/transsexual individuals in paying for utilities, prescription co-pays, medical visit co-pays, medical bills, legal name change fees, and other basic needs. Financial assistance is given based on need and the availability of funds.
The Transgender Emergency Fund's current fiscal sponsor is AIDS Project Worcester, Inc. (APW) but APW is not in any other way responsible for the raising, management, or distribution of funding and assistance. In order to be eligible, individuals must submit the following information:
1) A completed application
2) A copy of bills and/or receipts
3) Proof of income or assets
4) An original signed Release of Information
In the file section of this group labeled "Central Mass. Emergency Fund" you'll find electronic copies of the application and authorisation form. Individuals who receive assistance from the fund will not in any way be identified as being Transgender to companies or organisations where payment will be sent.
For more information about the Transgender Emergency Fund or to receive additional applications, please contact Jesse at 1508 755 3773 or jessep@aidsprojectworcester.org. The fund is currently accepting donations in order to continue providing assistance to those in need. To donate to the fund, please make checks out to AIDS Project Worcester and write "Transgender emergency fund" in the memo line. Please mail checks to:
Transgender Emergency Fund
c/o AIDS Project Worcester
85 GREEN ST
WORCESTER MA 01604
Sincerely,
Jesse Pack
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What's a Nice Wednesday One-Liner Like You Doing in a Place Like This?
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 04:00 pm
posted by: overheardnyc
Guy to girl with afro crossing the street: Hey gorgeous! Gorgeous! Let me massage your kinky tips!
--8th Ave & W 4th
Comedy club promoter to hot girl: Hi, do you like comedy? (girl keeps walking) Okay, do you like skinny white guys then?
--42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Galina
Young boy reading aloud in halting monotone: I like that outfit. It would look great crumpled up on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?
--Borders, Kips Bay
Overheard by: Emily
Fat white guy in Mets jersey to hot blonde: Hello, my name is Tom and I'm horny. (blonde keeps walking)
--Lexington & 50th
Black man to female passerby: S'cuse me miss... Not to seem rude, but to be honest...for a white girl, you got a nice butt.
--5th Ave
Conductor on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, this last weekend I went to a club...never again. I walked in, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. I saw a beautiful lady across the bar, went up to her and said, "Where have you been all my life?" She said back to me "I think for the first half of your life, I wasn't born." This is 59th, Columbus circle, have a good day, ladies and gentlemen.
--A Train
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I just...yeah. I mean...really?
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 12:38 pm
posted by: kimonkey7
So, there's a lot of 'for toothache, rub tincture of leaves on gums' etc. and near the bottom there is this symptom listed:
Anus problems.
Yeah. Because, um, dudes. I am not wanting any of my personal anus problems solved with a TREE.
Call me seven years old, I don't care.
*clenches*
ETA: *points at
ficwriter1966* This is all YOUR fault. I'm writing fic, now. *facepalm*view | Leave a comment {24} | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Wednesday One-Liners, As God Made Them
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 02:00 pm
posted by: overheardnyc
Guy on cell: What does you caring about me have to do with me at some club with "hypothetical" naked chicks?
--42nd & Lexington
Guy yelling across street to girl on phone: Tell her I waited naked on the bed all night but she never came!
--Washington Square
Suit to another: It's so weird because there are so many people at the office who you'd never think to picture naked... Like Marcy: you'd never picture her naked. Alex: you'd never picture him naked. Derek: I've never pictured him naked.
--F Train
Overheard by: EmLo
Guy, to two women: I was like, "You're lying on top of me. We're naked. When does this get fun?"
--Philosophy Building, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
(girl is wearing small, tight, mini-skirt and talking to a group of boys)
Girl: If it was up to me, I wouldn't be wearing any clothes, if it weren't for gravity.
--Sybil's, Liberty Ave, Queens
Overheard by: Terrence
20-something girl to friend: So I chased after him, but I was naked...so how far could I go?
--Brooklyn Promanade
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DON'T JUDGE ME
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 08:29 pm
current disposition: 
distressed
hearing: Wang Lee Hom
posted by: lady_nimua
School is starting in a couple of days and I still don't have all the supply that I need, so I went to the mall. Met my old Boss for coffee, and then decided to window shop.
( EXCEPT. )
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Wednesday One-Liners Still Aren't a Tourist Attraction
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 12:00 pm
posted by: overheardnyc
(looking down at Washington Square Park's currently under-construction fountain)
Girl: Oh, is that where the World Trade Center used to be?
--Kimmel Center
Bensonhurst Italian guy on phone: I can't fuckin' wait for the Freedom Tower.
--Financial District
Suit on cell: Does anyone know where 9/11 is?
--Times Square
Overheard by: Jeffrey
Tourist: Is this the train to 9/11?
--R Train
Confused tourist (thinking he's looking at the WTC site): Will you look at that? They put a fucking graveyard in there! I mean, what the fuck?
--St. Paul's Church, Broadway & Fulton
Tourist: My favorite is my 9/11 Santa.
--Museum Shop, 53rd b/w 5th & 6th
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I'm old now.
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 05:13 pm
location: bedroom.
current disposition: 
anxious
posted by: midnight_ljc
I am officially not needed anymore.
I’m now the old head gimp.
OLD.
Instead they have my mother, who just got a job there.
So she spent the whole day going ‘Yes, I’m Laura’s mummy’
Which for me, is utterly hilarious since I’ve spent 18 years of my life hearing ‘oh you’re JANE’S daughter!’
So yes. I’m old news. Unwanted. Cast aside like a thing casted aside.
Bar my English teacher who told my mother that he wants to see me asap about repeating my English a level
Haha woops.
I also start tech next Monday.
Shitting it.
But I finished the hat which is part of my summer project.
haha.
butomg look at the bags under my eyes holy shit.
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Aug. 27th, 2008 | 08:41 am
posted by: bethos
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Man's Best Wednesday One-Liners
Aug. 27th, 2008 | 10:00 am
posted by: overheardnyc
Man: So I was making out with my ex girlfriend on the bridge and out of nowhere this dog runs over and starts humping my leg...
--Uptown 1 Train
Dude outside bar: All dogs are gay.
--7th Avenue, Park Slope
Overheard by: The Katie
Black man arguing with kiosk man: Yo, he ain't my son, he's my dog!
--6th Street
Middle-aged woman walking her dog to passersby: I'm a dog! I don't know why none of you believe me! I talk to my dog. Humans don't talk to animals, animals talk to animals! I'm not human! And until you people realize that, you're going to keep having problems with me!
--9th St & University Place
Overheard by: Katie
Drunk guy to girls walking puppy: Hey giiirl. Watch yo dawg. Giiirl! Watch yo dog... Cuz I might bite!
--Staten Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Izzy
(teacher's cell rings)
Teacher: I have a feeling I have to answer this. It's very important. It's about my puppy.
--Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: student